For some, being controlled by a spouse seems dangerous or humiliating. ControlĪ prominent factor in this kind of marital dysfunction is the hot button of control.
To understand these better, a couple must take a brave look beyond their accusations and denials to the real problems lurking underneath. Underlying the marital strife are issues of control, flawed assumptions and unrelenting stress that erode the couple’s love. Yet I frequently work with husbands and wives who can trace a clear history of hurt and progressive detachment. How does the blushing bride become a depressed, isolated woman who feels invisible and disenfranchised? Where does that smiling groom disappear to, replaced by a sullen, insensitive grouch?Īs a counsellor, I have not yet met a couple who entered matrimony with the intention of alienating or hurting each other. The reality is sometimes a disappointing shadow of that image, marred by conflict, anger and loneliness.
At least, this is the ideal marriage that newlyweds dream of. Marriage is intended to be a cozy relationship in which two individuals can flourish.
